simbadarling:

engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

What are you wearing “Jake from State Farm”

(via batsandspooks)

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via acceptscreditsanddick)

frauleinninja:

lledra:

sharped0:

gobigorgoextinct:

Steve Irwin in a Jaeger would be entertaining.

Look over there. There’s a Catergory 3 Kaiju. Biggest one yet. 

Ah’m gonna wrassle with it. 

#yeah but who’s his drift partner. a crocodile. just a crocodile. its not a special or humanoid croc its literally just a croc strapped in.

image

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE REBLOGGED THIS BUT I DON’T CARE BECAUSE IT HAS IMPROVED EVERY TIME

(via acceptscreditsanddick)

toreutic:

wow we cant take you guys anywhere

(via asgards-mints)

infinitemachine:

Dinosaur of the Day: Carnotaurus Doodle by DeEtta
Carnotaurus Family: Abelisauridae Location: Argentina Time: Late Cretaceous Size (length): 8-9m

infinitemachine:

Dinosaur of the Day: Carnotaurus Doodle by DeEtta

Carnotaurus
Family: Abelisauridae
Location: Argentina
Time: Late Cretaceous
Size (length): 8-9m

(via officiousmartyr2)

twinzik:

Becoming A Thornberry!

More on our FB page- http://facebook.com/twinzik.twins

(via thecolorfulcarnie)

caswithashotgun:

caswithashotgun:

"if you don’t consider breasts sexual organs then why do you care if i grab them"
well EXCUSE ME BUT IF I JUST STRUTTED UP AND GRABBED YOUR EAR AND FELT IT UP LIKE MMMM YEAH BABY I BET YOU HEAR REAAAL GOOD WOULD YOU NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE

glad to see y’all spreading the word

(via officiousmartyr2)